I’d just hung up my halo and settled down for a nap on a very comfy looking cloud, when there was a flutter and a cough behind me. Someone grumped in my ear, “Do you think Paradise looks after itself? You’re on gardening duty with us this afternoon”. Gabriel! I nearly frisbeed my halo at him, but this is not correct angel behaviour, so I just jammed it back over my head.

That famous songwriter, Charles W-something, wrote the words “angels and men agree”. This may be a rare enough occasion for him to take note of, but “angels and angels“ agreeing can be notable, too. Especially on one of our gardening parties. But, hey, life in Paradise would be a little flat if we agreed all the time.

We all have different approaches to gardening, you see. Michael is heavily into organic gardening and will compost anything that doesn’t move. He likes to leave the garden untidy and ‘natural’ (like his hair?) so that little wild furry creatures will feel at home there (in the garden, that is). He wants to turn Paradise into a haven for wildlife, or so he says. We think he might mean ‘wildlife heaven’. No wonder so many hedgehogs throw themselves under cars.

Gabriel, on the other hand, likes things done in an orderly way. “After all,” he says, “we are on the side of order rather than chaos.” We think he might have an Almighty complex. He likes plants sown in straight rows and colour co-ordinated. He trains the birds to sing only traditional hymns and makes sure that fountains of living water only fall within their allotted ponds.

He’s even been known to use pellets to eradicate “those little devils” that nibble the hostas. Yes, I’m afraid they do get absolutely everywhere!

So, all in all, I wasn’t looking forward to being part of this gardening party. When the garden was first set up, we tried to talk the issues through and come to a working agreement about policy. But because the issues lay so close to our hearts, we’ve never come anyway near a compromise. Not a good example to set you lot, hey?

We did think about looking in The Book, to see if what that had to say about cultivation, might help. We called in Azriel to adjudicate. But we didn’t get very far. Though at least Michael and Gabriel agreed in hating the parable of the wheat and tares. “He let them grow together!!!” expostulated Gabriel. “No wonder the world’s so untidy. I’d have sorted ‘em out straight away.” “He burnt the tares and didn’t compost them”, moaned Michael, nearly in tears. “Hasn’t He heard of global warming and the finite nature of earth’s resources?”

Oh dear, I hate these arguments. I’m all for a peaceful life myself, which is why I applied to be a Peace Proclaiming Angel.

Azriel turned to me and said, most kindly, “So what do you think, Eirene?” he asked. “On the theological issue I’m with Him.” I said. “You can’t go round pulling up little plants before they’ve even had the chance to grow and show their true nature. Things become clearer later.” “And I also believe….”

I added, looking Gabriel in the eye, “…. that only the Great Gardener knows what is a weed and what is a plant. Some so-called weeds are very beautiful and even useful….” I tailed off lamely.

“If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a bleeding heart liberal angel” muttered Gabriel, just loudly enough for me to hear.

“As far as this Paradise garden is concerned,” I went on, “I think we should go organic. But before we go any further, I think we should sit down and discuss, with the Great Gardener’s help, what is wanted in this garden. We should try to find room for Michael’s creatures, but we should also draw up a plan for the other beds, so that they look as beautiful as they can.”

Azriel looked at us. “Do angels and angels agree?” he asked, using the age-old formula. “Agreed” we said. And the real hard work began!