OUR ADOPTION STORY
We are the Bennetts of Barton and consist of Andrew, Wendy and three beautiful girls Emily 8, Madeline 5 and Olivia 19 mths. We met Olivia Xiao-Jie on 12 January 2004 after a process which had lasted about 2½ years.
Our
story begins on 8 July 2001 when our friends John and Gillian Ferris had their
Chinese daughter Bethany baptised at Fulwood. The christening coincided with
National Children’s Home Sunday and the whole service was geared to thinking
about children who had been hurt, neglected or abandoned. Not surprisingly there
were many references to adoption and the fact that we have been ‘adopted’ by God
Stephen Poxon (our previous Minister) also spoke about how as children and
adults we copy each other as we learn how to love.
People may say we have copied our friends in adopting from China and in a way we can’t disagree. They inspired us to copy the love and dedication they showed whilst adopting Bethany. It had taken us some time to understand what John and Gillian were doing, but when finally Bethany arrived in the Ferris household we were all smitten by her. We came to feel that we couldn’t ignore the feelings we had developed for these little girls who have been denied a Chinese upbringing due to the strict one-child policy. Once our emotions had calmed a little we took the first step of contacting Social Services and then slowly but surely we travelled through the same process as anyone wanting to adopt from this country. We had police, education and health checks and then a long home study which we finally passed in July 2002. We were now formally approved to adopt.
Our papers then went to the Department of Health and sat there collecting dust! This was because China had imposed a quota on the number of applicants wanting to adopt from China and we had missed the cut off. Eventually though our papers were processed in December 2002 and were sent to China in February 2003. Perhaps we could now relax a little!
We’d begun to think seriously about moving house so Olivia would only have to settle into one home. We fell in love with the first house we viewed and our offer for it was accepted the day after our papers went to China. House moves are never easy but at least our preoccupation with moving and then sorting out the house and garden helped the waiting-time to go more quickly.
When our papers went to China, we were told it would be around 14 months before we would be matched with our daughter. Thankfully one positive aspect of the quota was that the Chinese authorities caught up the backlog of referrals and the waiting was time reduced to 9 months. On 22 November 2003, we drove very early in the morning to Preston Sorting Office and opened an envelope containing Olivia’s details and 3 small photos. We celebrated Christmas wishing she was already with us and with lots of pictures of her all around the house.
After a lot of packing and panicking we set off for China on the 10 January 2004. Olivia lived in Yangxi, which is in South China. We flew to Hong Kong and then took a 1 hour flight to Guangzhou (new name for Canton) which was the closest major city to Yangxi, finally arriving in the evening of Sunday, 11 January.
On Monday morning Olivia Xiao-Jie arrived in our lives. She was very quiet and pale and a lot smaller than we’d imagined. Within a few days she started to blossom and develop her own personality; it was a magical time. We did have our ups and downs while we were there; Olivia was poorly with a dose of pneumonia and so we had to sample the Chinese hospital system, which was a real experience! They did make her better but never criticise the NHS until you have experienced health care abroad!!
The adoption process was very organised and was done with relative ease. We had a fantastic guide, Chris Tao Ping, who helped and organised the whole Chinese trip. As both of us have not been blessed with the art of fluent Cantonese, we were completely at his mercy through the legal paper work and especially when we had to take Olivia to hospital.
China is an amazing country. It was wonderful to experience a little of its beauty and culture, but behind the lights and images of modern capitalist wealth there is an awful lot of poverty, ill health and heart-ache especially if you are a woman.
Wendy’s parents had been looking after Emily and Madeline, so on our return the balloons were out and lots of thankful tears were shed that we had returned safely. Olivia was much brighter but rather traumatised mainly due to the 14 hour overnight flight. By the evening she had begun to settle in and started playing with her new sisters. As time has gone by, she’s come on in leaps and bounds, and is now a very lively toddler.
Some people have said "Isn’t she lucky?" to us on a number of occasions. She is lucky in a way in that she will be brought up in a western culture and not in poverty - which may have happened if she’d been left in China. However, we feel we are the lucky ones as she has brought even more love, excitement and laughter to our family. Our children are a real joy to us. We are amazed by how well they have adapted to each other and how Olivia was accepted so naturally into our family life.
You realise when you go through this experience what a loving set of friends and family you have, who’ve supported you through words, action and prayer. It’s only when you are stuck in China or on a huge Boeing 747 you realise how much you depend on prayer and its reassuring to know people are praying for you at home.
So thank you from us all.